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That's harsh, but that's the historical context of black men dating white women that I unfortunately have to consider when doing the same.

Though those events are something of which I'm always cognizant, I didn't adhere to them as any sort of cautionary tale.

The story of Till's murder didn't scare me as much as it made me want to piss off racist fucks even more. And I was only six years old when the O.

Even then, I understood that it was racial, but there was a disconnection from my personal reality.

Nothing about my worldview was sexualized yet. Whatever I learned from the trial was tucked away as something that I should know as a black man, but it didn't have a life-altering impact on my own development.

I'm not going to murder anyone. For whatever implications the trial had, that shit also had nothing to do with me. The idea was always to live my life however I wanted to live it.

I don't say that as some guilt-ridden rationalization for dating white women. There was no rationalization. I grew up how I grew up. I never consciously set out to date white women.

My attraction to them was likely a natural response to my environment. The year after the O. Nobody was trying to assimilate with white people, but sometimes that's just the way things go when you want a better home and better schools for your family.

But it does have an unforeseen effect on your outlook when you're one of the few black families in town.

Before I was even 10, I started having crushes on girls, trying to get my first kiss, and all of that.

All I saw around me were white girls. I thought this girl was hot because of her freckles and I thought that girl was hot because of her soft hair or whatever and I just wasn't in fifth grade thinking about the racial ramifications of features that I found attractive.

Other people think about that, though. I was consuming all of this media and I could just sense from the adults around me that, as a black person, when I was watching TRL , it was expected that I be more attracted to the girls in Destiny's Child than Britney Spears.

By middle school, and especially high school, those expectations were even more apparent. I started to see what it really meant to be in an interracial relationship.

Sometimes white girls hid me from their family, especially their father. That was normal. I had one girlfriend in high school who strictly forbade doorbell ringing.

I'd let her know when I'd be outside. She was not going to go through the trouble of calling attention to the fact that she was going out with a black guy.

I can't say that my own mother has never asked, "When are you going to bring home a girl who looks like me? To me, it was simple.

The girls who showed me the most attention at school were white. The world made it complicated and assumed I had an ulterior motive, and it sucks, but I understand why.

There are self-hating black men who date white women for contrived and pathetic reasons and I hate them. They're so upfront about their exclusive attraction to white women and they'll give you a list of reasons why.

It is deliberate for them. They smugly go out of their way to put down black women based on stereotypical notions about their attitude, or hair, or something equally stupid and it's corny and disgusting.

That's one of the issues with interracial dating. Any time a black man walks around with a white woman he's giving off the impression that white women are his specific preference and that he has a problem with women of his own race, and because that applies to some black men who date white women, it becomes a label that all of us are subjected to.

It's nothing to walk past a random black woman on the street and get a death glare and maybe even overhear something like, "They're taking all of our men.

Shit is crazy out here. I promise. I totally get where black women are coming from, too. Like a hunchback is aware of his physical flaw, the black man with a small penis is aware of the fact that he is a walking, breathing disappointment, the living negation of an enormous sexual myth.

Even normal-looking, and normal-performing, brothers feel the guilt and burden of not being all they are rumored to be. Don't ask a brother to go down on you.

It's not going to happen, and brothers also don't care for long sessions of foreplay. Just get right to it and keep it simple, keep it real.

While having sex, do not call the brother a "black stud," or "hot chocolate," or "my nigger. Don't play hiphop while having sex with a black man.

Now this is very important: Don't act and talk like a sister during sex. If a brother wants to go to bed with a sister, he'll do just that—go to bed with a sister.

The reason why he is going to bed with you is because you are white, and so act and talk like you look, white. Missy Elliott, your favorite sister rapper on BET, has warned you about "two-minute brothers.

There are one-minute brothers out there, and you just might end up with one. If that happens, sorry, so sorry. There's nothing anybody can do about that.

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White reaction to The Verdict may have been one of shock and rage, but it's also largely oblivious to the history of disenfranchisement, partially as it relates to interracial relationships, of blacks in this country.

Part of the reason why black people celebrated the O. It was cold, hard, classic revenge. Throughout this nation's history, unfathomable numbers of innocent black men have been hung from trees and burned because of often fabricated stories of their fraternizing with white women, and there were usually no consequences for the white men lynching them.

I was taught the story of Emmett Till by my mother at a young age. I don't think she did it as a warning as much as to be like, "This is something you should be aware of.

It was He got dragged out of his uncle's house and tortured and killed because he maybe flirted with a white woman.

A racist jury acquitted his murderers, Roy Bryant and J. Milam, despite overwhelming evidence, and, to rub salt in the wound, both admitted to killing Till in Look magazine the next year.

The shoe was on the other foot for once and so be it if two white people wound up dead. We'd lost many more.

That's harsh, but that's the historical context of black men dating white women that I unfortunately have to consider when doing the same.

Though those events are something of which I'm always cognizant, I didn't adhere to them as any sort of cautionary tale.

The story of Till's murder didn't scare me as much as it made me want to piss off racist fucks even more. And I was only six years old when the O.

Even then, I understood that it was racial, but there was a disconnection from my personal reality. Nothing about my worldview was sexualized yet.

Whatever I learned from the trial was tucked away as something that I should know as a black man, but it didn't have a life-altering impact on my own development.

I'm not going to murder anyone. For whatever implications the trial had, that shit also had nothing to do with me. The idea was always to live my life however I wanted to live it.

I don't say that as some guilt-ridden rationalization for dating white women. There was no rationalization. I grew up how I grew up.

I never consciously set out to date white women. My attraction to them was likely a natural response to my environment.

The year after the O. Nobody was trying to assimilate with white people, but sometimes that's just the way things go when you want a better home and better schools for your family.

But it does have an unforeseen effect on your outlook when you're one of the few black families in town. Before I was even 10, I started having crushes on girls, trying to get my first kiss, and all of that.

All I saw around me were white girls. I thought this girl was hot because of her freckles and I thought that girl was hot because of her soft hair or whatever and I just wasn't in fifth grade thinking about the racial ramifications of features that I found attractive.

Other people think about that, though. I was consuming all of this media and I could just sense from the adults around me that, as a black person, when I was watching TRL , it was expected that I be more attracted to the girls in Destiny's Child than Britney Spears.

By middle school, and especially high school, those expectations were even more apparent. I started to see what it really meant to be in an interracial relationship.

Sometimes white girls hid me from their family, especially their father. That was normal. I had one girlfriend in high school who strictly forbade doorbell ringing.

I'd let her know when I'd be outside. She was not going to go through the trouble of calling attention to the fact that she was going out with a black guy.

I can't say that my own mother has never asked, "When are you going to bring home a girl who looks like me? To me, it was simple.

Next Post. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Read more. Black Celebrity Booty Pics September 28, Beautiful Black Women Divinity November 28, Login to your account below.

Forgotten Password? This reasoning concludes that Black men are a sexual threat to society and are prone to raping White women. This idea is vividly depicted within the D.

Griffith film "Birth of a Nation. Gus is then tried and killed by members of the Ku Klux Klan, who are heroically depicted in the film.

Accusations of Black male impropriety towards White women were used to justify lynching of Black men. In one of the more notorious real life lynchings, year-old African American Emmett Till , was kidnapped and brutally murdered for reportedly flirting with a White female.

Many of the adult movies with Black men in starring roles use racial themes in the title and often as the flick's primary selling point.

In these cases the troupe includes exacerbation of the notion of Black male obsession with White females which was often used to justify lynching of Black males.

Larry G. Morton II, in his article entitled: MSM, the Streets, and Lockdown: Sexual Threat and Social Dominance in America, reported that present day stereotypes such as 'once you go black you never go back' are examples of attempts to stigmatize Black male sexuality.

Or, as Dines revealed : "From the image of the black woman as Jezebel, to the black male as savage, mainstream white representations of blacks have coded black sexuality as deviant, excessive and a threat to the white social order.

So the idea of the salacious Black male and his monster cock has been used to perpetuate the objectification and brutality of African American men. However, how does one transcend messages of marginalization when they are transmitted through interpersonal, institutional and historical channels?

For starters, more education is needed in order to re-socialize males starting from childhood. Looking back, much of my education came from my childhood peers, most of whom were as misinformed as me.

Such information can include confronting present stereotypes and hyper masculine ideals about male sexuality as well as providing concrete research on male anatomy.

For example, I was recently informed by a colleague that, contrary to popular belief, human males are the best endowed of the hominids, proportionate to body size.

The average human penis size is five inches. As my colleague concluded, if men were not bombarded with a barrage of messages preaching their inadequacy, insecurities related to the male genitalia would be minimal.

Furthermore, there is general agreement among sex experts that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone , not external genitalia. The more in tune we are to the sexual preferences of ourselves and our partners, the more enhanced the sexual experience.

This type of information may be useful in rewriting the dominant masculine narrative. Finally, I find that there is very little literature written about Black American male sexuality in the absence of disease and oppression.

One might conclude that the strict scholastic focus on Black American male sexual behavior pertaining inflexibly to disease and oppression itself constitutes a racist distortion of Black American Male sexuality.

I would argue that this type rigid focus on sexuality inadvertently deflects attention away from African American men's individual attitudes about their sexuality.

Our understanding of Black American male sexuality would benefit by according attention to both macro and micro level dynamics.

Examination of the sexual experiences, attitudes and beliefs of Black American men and how these individuals construct stories about their sexual experiences appears warranted and yet conspicuously absent from the literature.

As for television, I am still waiting on a male equivalent to "Sex in the City": a space for men to authentically talk about or experiences, hopes, dreams, and fears in reference to sex and sexuality.

Discussing our insecurities in particular may be a path towards liberation from our societally imposed, hypermasculine prison.

Remember, you're as healthy as your secrets. This originally appeared on Goodmenproject. US Edition U.

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